happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
