After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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