I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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