best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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