I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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