Me too!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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