No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
