I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
