And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
