What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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