I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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