I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize