so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
