new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
