Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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