yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize