It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
