And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
