im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
