any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
