I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
