i just wanna soil my oats bro
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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