The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
