the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
