The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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