Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
