I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just gift wrapped bread.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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