dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Green mimosas i think yes
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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