What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize