did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
