Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?