I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?