i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
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He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...