If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
