K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
