i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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