batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
