brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
