We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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