I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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