:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
