All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
