I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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