Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
