Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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