Christians are straight up FREAKS
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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