actually, I'm a sock model
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
