I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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