I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
