Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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