Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
