I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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