Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
