lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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