i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
my liver is dry heaving
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize