ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
