I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
