Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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