Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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