two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There r osticjed everywhere
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize