dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
