If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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