he puts the penis in happiness.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
