you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
