My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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