Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
